What is wrong with my mom?

Today started out like any other day. It's 7:57 and my little Whitney is not wanting to get ready for school. The bus she catches comes at 8:40, therefore leaving her with a half hour to get dressed, eat, get her hair done and be to the neighbors to walk with them to the bus stop. Normally, it's a rush, but it gets done without any trouble. Today, however, was a constant battle. "Why can't I watch TV? Abby gets to watch TV. "(Abby doesn't go to school until 12:15) "Why do I have to ride the bus, I hate the bus." So, at 8:35, she is in front of the next door neighbors house screaming and crying that she is scared. What? What was that? SCARED? I yell at her to get in the house and once she is in, I freak out. I'm not talking a little tantrum, I start screaming and yelling, telling her what a brat she's being (which is against EVERYTHING I believe in) and send her to her room, but not before I spanked her butt. " What is wrong with me?" I'm thinking to myself. Maybe she is scared. I went into her room and tried to talk to her about it. I explained that there were reasons she has to take the bus. Then I get all the kids, load them in the van, and take her to the bus stop. I'm thinking the whole time that all this is going on, that Whitney is also wondering "What is wrong with her?" Most of the time I feel like a really good mom. I love my kids more than anything, and despite their little moods, I am usually pretty patient with them. Next time I feel like freaking out, I hope I won't leave my kids wondering. "What is wrong with my mom?" Thankfully, for my sake, there is such a word as forgiveness.